This is quite an improvement, Will.
The strange thing about it is that, ... don't really know how to describe this ... I always do my recording and listening on headphones. When I listened to this new version I thought that the vocal was 'improved' but still a bit 'back, in the mix'. I switched from 'phones to speakers and it was perfect
It usually works the other way round, for me
The other strange thing, whether planned or not I'm not sure, is that ... on 'phones' the position of the guitar player can be placed exactly. The singer is sitting at the front of stage and the picker is about five feet to his left. I can almost see it
I still think you could do a more natural 'strum' however
(JMHO)
James