WHITE SQUALL(V2)

[elwoodblues1969]

Due to the changes in this one,I decided that one particular passage needed a bit more lyrical content and because the MP3 conversion murdered the sound quality of my song,I've attached an additional post with an Ogg Vorbis version.

Earth is firm under my feet...road rises up to the vantage point in the street
The sky's breath at my back...
The trails diverge on the path,so it says on the map

The sun breaks through the trees...the seajust beyond the breach
The edge of the earth,in all of it's girth..must take that intrepid step,until I'm immersed

Bound for no ports,pushing forth..but what do I see...coming down,from the north....
Ominous clouds,descending down...surrounding my vessel in a charcoal shroud
The impotence & flacidness of nocturnal dreams,in a empty world I let out my screams

An elemental force,rushing forth...on it's course
Nothing to reach out to,no one to call...as I sail head long,into the great white squall..

[elwoodblues1969]

Ogg Vorbis:

[kara]

It stays a song that I like  (and I won't repeat my remarks on that intro riff  )

I could suggest that you add a part to the song with the same melody as in the first part 'Earth is firm under my feet....' but with other lyrics. It would in some way take the listener back home to something he heard allready before finishing.
What do you think ?

k

[elwoodblues1969]

Kara,

My thinking when I wrote this song,was that it was telling a story from beginning to end,like that of a novel...so I'd like to keep it this way.....consider this song to be experimental.

Thanks for the comments & input.

-Thom

[TristezaOrange]

Well, this is indeed even better!  Mix-wise that is, because I already loved the first version.

Have you heard XTC's "Skylarking"? It's one of my favorite albums and this could easily be on that album - not to say that it's a rip-off, of course (far from it) but the *feeling* of the track would be a perfect fit for that album.

You blew me away! 

[elwoodblues1969]

Antonis,

Thanks for the thumbs up on this version too! 8)I am familiar with XTC,but only with their Lemon's & Orange's album.....it's been several years since I've heard anything from them though.

Thanks for the kind words.

-Thom

[Laguna Rising]

Woow ! much better than the 1st sketch indeed.
I like both the instrumental parts and the sung ones.
I didn't notice 'forced' transitions this time.
The vocal line seems ok
I'm glad you kept on working on this idea

Cheers

[magmavander]

Hi EB,

Cool one wow ! A lot of stuff happens here.
All parts are so interesting each one shares a particular feel.
Yeah that sounds really good, reminds me the time where many bands did concepts albums. You're better, you did a concept song 
Great job thanks!!

mag

[elwoodblues1969]

L.R.,

Thanks for the stamp of approval on this 2nd version...means alot to me!

Mag,

Glad we're both on the same page as to what I was trying to accomplish with this style...thanks a mint for the kind compliments!

-Thom

[Martin E]

Hi Thom. Very bold composition but it seems to work for me. The first part has a Brian Wilson kinda vibe (especially the sung parts) which I like very much. Good stuff.

[elwoodblues1969]

Martin,

Funny,I thought that the first vocal segment had a Beatles vibe to it.

Thanks for the kind words.

-Thom

[Martin E]

Well The Beatles got part of their inspiration from Brian Wilson as well.