...wtf am I doing here?
Same as the rest of us, friend - living and learning.
The issues you are dealing with affect us all.
My strategy is to use "vintage" gear... not old enough to be cool or collectable, but solid, proven, no-nonsense tools - most often purchased used from a private seller. And research; a lotta research.
As far as personal values are concerned, I never let commerce, or convenience, or the heat of the moment, get in the way of relationships with friends, neighbours, co-workers, and family. Life is just too short to piss it away on power struggles or misunderstandings.
Now pick it up, dust it off, tune it up, and get busy - we have life to live and music to make - and none of us is getting any younger