Kara-Moon Forum

It's been some time now since we had an official collaboration on a new song.
I'm toying with this idea for a new collab song, at the moment just an embryo of a track, only piano, I want to keep as much open for others as possible.
Will need bass, guitar, drums, other keys (pads ?), vocals,....

The track contains at the moment, 4 bars intro, 2 verses of 8 bars and a chorus of 8 bars. Just to give an idea

What do you think of the idea ?
Who wants to collaborate ?

k

 8)
Very quick listen ......
count me in, maestro ... this sounds extremely 'commercial'

 ;)
James

Sounds interesting - I can almost hear a vocal line more-or-less following the chords up - can't see any words though :P

Chords and BPM please.

Just a quick off-the-cuff.

This is intended to be sung, not as an instrumental. I've tried to keep it within an octave  ::)

 :-X
And my quick off-the-cuff ....

this is how it makes me feel  :-*

 ;)
James

Some interesting ideas  :-

I'l work on the structure of the song
I'm thinking of :

1° Verse : Vocals and piano only
2° Verse : Drums and other instruments kick in
Chorus
3° Verse
2° Chorus
3° Chorus : Instrument solo
End

Thoughts ?

k

(http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0030.gif) (http://www.mysmiley.net)Outstanding piano composition(http://serve.mysmiley.net/love/love0029.gif) (http://www.mysmiley.net/free-sign-smileys.php) - too good to bury in a lot of instrumentation.
A delicate touch is in order here, no matter which way it goes. Once I've got "Bright" sorted out, I'll check back and lend a hand if appropriate...

Yes, this is an outstanding piano composition and I agree with Oren that this requires a delicate touch.  I like Will’s idea and soundscape very much.  I also like James’ guitar line, however I did not like the guitar tone that was used. Personally I think mellow is in order here, however I’m probably wrong again.

James, if possible could you redo that excellent guitar line with a mellower tone.  I really like your style here!

I’m extremely busy right now but later next week I should have some time.  Maybe then I’ll add something if needed.  However I personally don’t think a whole lot of orchestration is needed, at least from what I hear at this stage of the game.

Just m $0.02 USD.

ok, here is the full track as described bellow

BPM = 70

Chords

Intro : C : Am-G
Verse :

C : Am : Dm : Bdim
C : Am : Dm : G

Chorus :

Am : C-G : Am-G : C-G :
Am : C-G : Am-G : Em-C

End :

Am : C-G : Am-G : A-G : Em - C

I had some help from our drummer for the drum track  :-

What it needs first :
-> A bass track starting where the drums start
-> Vocals !  ;D

Any takers ?  8)

k

I'd like to take a whack at some bass guitar... O0

 :-X
If someone can conjure up some lyrics I could have a stab at a vocal.
I would need the basis of a song first before I know if I can hit they key  :-\

 ;)
James

ok, Oren will do bass  8)

You don't want me to write English lyrics do you  :o ;D

k

 8)
Right .... just to see if I can spark something off.

First off is a backing track of acoustic guitar chords to drop in the mix if you feel that it might work. It starts on the second verse with the drums, but I have put a 4 click count-in in front of the whole thing.

Second is an approximation of the sort of vocal range I could hit, in this key, for two verses and chorus. I do this in the hope that someone could fit a set of lyrics into this type of phrasing ... even an idea to spark my imagination ... I am completely 'dry' at the moment  ::)

 ;)
James

 :o
In reply to myself ....

I managed to progress this a bit further.
I now have the 'bones' of a song ... if it is acceptable  :-X
Deaf, dumb and blind.

Here are the first two verses and the chorus.
Please let me know if it is worth pursuing.   :-*

 ;)
James

This works James  :;

k

 8)
OK ... today's update.

Finished the first draft of the full song.
I'll need to re-record the vocal when I have more studio time.
I've put an acoustic guitar part in for the final chorus. This can be replaced by anyone who has something that works better.

I’ve walked the streets since my heart broke
I’ve lost my voice since we last spoke
My eyes are blind since I last saw you
My blood is red but my mind is blue.

Life has stopped, you made that plain
There’s no return, no come again
This thing is over – it’s cut and dried
I’ve done with pleading – my God I’ve tried.

Deaf, dumb and blind – is how you’ve made me
Can’t hear, can’t speak, can’t really see –
We’ve ruined everything, the things that we’ve been through
What can I do to make it up with you?

I won’t hear – those things you said to me,
I won’t say – goodbye to set you free,
I won’t see – the truth that we must part,
Deaf, dumb and blind – and you even broke my heart.

Deaf, dumb and blind – is how you’ve made me
Can’t hear, can’t speak, can’t really see –
We’ve ruined everything, the things that we’ve been through
What can I do to make it up with you?

 ;)
James

real cool lyrics, they work

If we keep the guitar in the final chorus, I'll replay that part with blok chords, at the moment it clashes with the nice solo at the end  :(

Going forward nicely  :-

k

BTW I like the title 'Deaf, dumb and blind'  :;

 :-X
Right ...

I think I've finished the vocal.
Here it is.

I've also made a rough mix, just to show how it fits together in my little mind  ::)
Just drop the parts into your own mix and have fun  :-*

 ;)
James

 O0

Those vocals are really good James  8)

Tomorrow I'll replay some parts of the piano in function of the lyrics.
I'll also change the last part where you solo

k
 

ok, I love this to much to wait until tomorrow  :)

Here is the new version.
Things I've done :
- The whole piano track is redone
   > I adapted it to the vocals, avoided conflicting notes and rhythm with the vocals.
   > Adapted the right hand piano riff to the vocals.
   > Simplified the last part to make room for that guitar solo
- EQ and a bit of cleaning up on the vocals.

Things to do next :
- Include the guitar, perhaps modify the piano a bit in function of the guitar track.
- Once I have all tracks, I'll remix the drums a bit, I've heard a couple of volume troubles.

ok, James, I'm ready for the guitar track now  ;)

Comment and other contributions are welcome of course  8)

k

 :o
Wow ...
great stuff Rony.

I'll get the guitar tracks to you a bit later.
That solo section after the last chorus was only intended as a 'place-holder'.  I was hoping that Mario or someone would like to put a solo in there.
I'll send mine anyway, then you can choose.
 ;)
James

For those who are following this  ;D
A corrected version of the mix

Things done :
I've mainly rebuild the mix with 2 goals
- Build the instruments around our singer.
- Remixed the drums to make space for the upcoming bass track. Oren it's all your now  ;)

James,
A good idea to have some electric guitar in it Mario are you reading this ?
Here is my idea...
I think it would be nice to have in the first chorus (Deaf, dumb and blind....) something similar as my right hand piano riff in the second chorus, the goal of this riff is to put some kind of a  counter riff on the chorus. I think this would sound nice on guitar too ?
And then in the last section, solo it out  ;D

k

 8)
Here is the full acoustic guitar backing track,
plus a revised version of the 'solo' section, in case Mario doesn't come up with the goods  ::)

 ;)
James

Yep, I have been following this thread and thus far this is one excellent song.  James I must say that this is the best I have ever heard you sing!

I also listened to James’ excellent acoustic guitar part and think that would make a great addition.  So what I tried to do is to add some guitar leads that hopefully don’t mess things up. I tried a mellow jazz guitar but felt that it wasn’t “crying” enough for this song.  I did come across this guitar part.  It is more of a crying blues feel.

Let me know what you think and as always feel free to use all, some or non-of it. If you need something else just let me know.   

Note that my guitar part should line up with the OGG file.

I'm working on the bass... the song is too good to just slap something down and send it off to France... :D
A few more days, por favor, mi amigos.

 :- The guitar parts are in and they sound damn good  :;

Mario,
I moved your part from the second chorus to the first one. It sounds more balanced.

Oren,

You are right, that bass won't be easy. Our drummer tends to be very creative which makes it hard for bass player  ;D

I really like this song, it sound pretty commercial

k

This bass track will line up with the existing project tracks. It may be a little more "energetic" than the song calls for - see what you think...

 :o
Super bass track, pardner.

Looking forward to the final mix  :-*

 ;)
James

Indeed an energetic bass track and very difficult to mix, it buried  completely our kick  ;)
An interesting problem, finally I found the solution by delicate EQ'ing and side chaining the bass with the kick.

This is the optimum mix I can make on my system, i.e. as I hear it.
Now it's up to you guys to listen at your system.
I'm open to all comments
- Can't hear myself...
- I'm to loud...
- Eq where you don't agree ...
- Reverb setting, which are pretty subtle
- Others...

I have everything on a separated track, even the whole drum kit is split out by instrument, so everything is possible.

k

 :;
Wonderful mix.

My only 'tiny' criticism, as a headphone listener.
The right hand piano notes in the final vocal chorus section, 2.00 - 2.15, seem to come out too loud.  This has been like this since the first version. In the test mixes that I made I had to isolate that passage and pull the level down a bit.
Maybe this is only apparent on 'phones?

Otherwise ... it's a wrap  :;

And thank you for letting me take part.
 ;)
James

For my taste, the bass could be compressed and mixed at a lower level - so that we can still hear the nuances, but it is more integrated with the drums.
In any event, nicely done!

ok here is version 6
- Lowered the volume on the right hand piano riff in the second chorus
- Compressed the bass (ratio 4:1), still side-chained to the kick and lowered the volume with 1 db

What's next ?  ;D

k
 

 :-*
Perfect   :-*

 ;)
James

And in MP3 (320 kbs)

k

Yes indeed :-

Schweet!(http://serve.mysmiley.net/cool/cool0012.gif) (http://www.mysmiley.net)

ok, since all musicians agree, we'll consider this one done then

k

I don't know.. I go away for 5 minutes and what do you all get up to ;D

Nice one guys 8)